


Let No Voice Falter, Let Die No Flame

by BitterEndXII



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Frerard, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Illnesses, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, One Shot, Strained Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 10:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4784702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterEndXII/pseuds/BitterEndXII
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They loved each other, they really did. It wasn't enough. (Also on my Mibba)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let No Voice Falter, Let Die No Flame

**Author's Note:**

> More depressing one-shots for my loves, I hope you like it! Drop me a line, tell me what you're thinking! <3

The room was damp, though the plaster of the ceiling was still able to crumble and the dust had already settled on the dirty, rouge carpet. Neither Frank nor Gerard had been able to get a job for months. They found themselves forced into a dingy council building.

Every room was as depressing as the next, every story the walls held was as sad as the walls that preceded it. The heating of the top floor hadn’t been working for several days, so the pair were huddled up as close as possible in their small bed. The soft sound of rain hitting the window and the hitched breaths of Gerard was all that could be heard throughout the tiny room.

“Frankie…” Gerard spoke in a hushed tone, shuffling himself ever closer to his lover, his arms being drawn up around his chest. “Shh” Frank replied, stroking Gerard’s greasy, uncut hair, trying desperately to sooth him. The pair were addicts; there was no other way of putting it. Gerard though was by far the worst. They’d decided to give up together and now Frank was more or less in the clear. Gerard hadn’t had such an easy time though and was still withdrawing from his various substances.

“It hurts…” Gerard mumbled on, his hands now noticeably shaking against Frank’s clothed body. “I know Gee, I know” was all that Frank could offer the other, drawing Gerard’s body closer to his own. “It’ll be okay” he kissed the top of the other boy’s head. Gerard let out a shaky sigh. “It’s so cold in here” he breathed. Frank nodded, more so to himself, shuffling himself down slightly so he could look at Gerard’s worn face.

“I can’t get the heating on… I tried it” he spoke in a soft dialect, his own body shivering lightly at the change in temperature caused by the move. Frank knew that the pain Gerard was likely to be going through was going to be far greater than he was actually portraying, as he himself had gone through it several times in his short life. He knew that the cold wouldn’t be aiding him at all either, as it was unbearable enough to Frank’s normal body state.

Frank looked into the eyes of the man he had devoted himself to for almost six years, even though he was only twenty-five. Though Gerard’s skin was now ruined from his years of abuse and his looks had faded somewhat, Frank couldn’t help but still find the others eyes as striking as he always had, despite the fact they were now tried looking and dull.

Frank would never notice this though. Gerard’s eyes to him still spoke waves; the soft brown with flecks of shining green had always soothed him. For some reason, they were the only thing left in Frank’s life that he felt made sense to him. Everything else had ended up messy and confusing, but the others gaze was a stunning reminder that the world was still beautiful.

“Frank… I need a little something” Gerard mumbled, breaking Frank from his trance. Frank swallowed thickly, his eyes dropping slightly before looking back at the other. “Gee, you’re so close. Just a couple more days, then it’s done, it’ll never be this bad again” he tried to reason, though knowing in the back of his head that his words would mean nothing to a craving addict. He knew the best thing he could do was to simply keep the other inside.

“F-Frank… Please!” he suddenly called out, his body convulsing slightly, jerking against Frank who was desperately trying to keep him still. He’d had such bad convulsions the previous day that the pair suspected that Gerard had broken his wrist, though they knew they couldn’t go anywhere about it until Gerard was stable.

“Shh” Frank mumbled, holding Gerard’s arms down so as to make sure he didn’t affect his injury. He could feel a stray tear cascade down his face. He couldn’t help but think about how it had all gone so wrong. One day they were the most adventurous couple they knew, partying most nights and enjoying the perks of their young lives. Next thing they knew they were jobless, homeless and without a family, with the only solution to their pain being drugs, as opposed to each other. ‘Why hadn’t that been enough for them?’ Frank thought solemnly.

“Frankie, j-us’ a little hit… Please” he cried. Frank glanced down, noticing tears streaming down Gerard’s face. “Gee, shh, it’s okay” Frank offered, shuffling back slightly to look at the other. He gasped; Gerard’s entire face was puffy, his voice and breathing was raspy. Frank could feel his lip tremble. He lightly pressed a kiss to his lover’s forehead.

“It’ll be okay Gerard” he murmured. Gerard’s form suddenly jerked back, his hands clasped over his mouth. “I’m gunna be sick” he groaned, rolling back away from Frank, looking around the room for the small office bin he knew would be in the corner. Frank could only watch wide eyed, seeing that Gerard had already thrown up into his hands before finally getting to the dust bin, emptying his gut into the container.

Frank got up to tend to the other man. He rubbed his hand in small circles around Gerard’s shoulders whilst Gerard continued to cough up. “’m s-sorry” Gerard spoke as he spat back into the bin, his breath heaving with his sudden outburst of energy. “Please! Just something… g-get me a little something” he hollered, his head sinking somewhat.

Frank got up and walked to the bathroom, retrieving a towel and a bottle of mouth wash for the other. His manner was silent; it was all part of the routine. He wandered blankly back into the bedroom, to find Gerard sat on their bed, shaking ever so slightly. Frank passed Gerard the mouthwash, who swiftly took it from the other and swirled an amount about his teeth, before spitting it into the bin. Frank peered down at the bin and shuddered, picking it up loosely and taking it across the corridor to the kitchen, dumping it in the sink. He stared at it for a short time, decided he really felt too bitter to clear it up at that moment. He trudged up the stairs.

Gerard was now laid on the bed in a ball, beads of sweat forming on his skin. “I’m s-… sorry” he choked, idly turning over to face the other, his lack of energy washing over him. “It’s okay” Frank replied, laying down next to his lover and wrapping the duvet around them. He put his arm around Gerard, who grasped it desperately, on the brink of crying again.

“I love you” Gerard spoke, as sternly as he could, trying to communicate with all his force what he really felt for the other. Gerard knew in the back of his mind that Frank felt let down by him. “I love you too, Gerard” Frank replied, kissing his cheek warmly. He knew the other meant it, but the situation was hopeless. “I love you so much” Gerard repeated, shuffling himself up to Frank’s eye line and gently caressing his face with his cold fingers.

His hands moved up to Frank’s hair and the others eyes slipped shut; Frank had always liked having his hair petted. The two eventually fell asleep, in a worrying calm, trying to remember the happier times. They often fell asleep crying these days. “I love you” Gerard repeated in a pained whisper.

\- - - - - - - - -

No one knew why Gerard had died so suddenly. He hadn’t had drugs in his system at the time and so it was assumed he’d suffered a heart attack due to the stressing effects of the withdrawal. Frank had woken up at around 7am to find his boy’s cold body pressed against his own. It was oddly peaceful, he had thought.

No matter how hard he shook or how loud he shouted, Gerard would not wake up, and he wouldn’t ever again. Frank knew that Gerard had simply given up and allowed himself to be taken. He hadn’t been right in so long and he’d probably assumed that Frank would live a much more peaceful existence without him.

\- - - - - - - - -

Frank looked down at his lover’s grave, tears still pouring from his eyes as they had been for the entire funeral, he’d never experienced such sadness but he couldn’t help but feel that Gerard would have been thankful for his release. “I love you” he murmured as he solemnly walked away.


End file.
